Carrie Kavanagh

My Story

I was afraid that life without alcohol would never be as good as life with it.

I bought into willpower and moderation, but neither ever lasted.

Deep down, I knew drinking was not the answer. What I did not realize was that I had begun believing a lie. I was afraid to surrender because I could not imagine my evenings without alcohol.

The fear was real. The promise was false.

Alcohol never gave me the peace, joy, or rest I was looking for. It left me tired, impatient, disconnected, and always hoping tomorrow would be different.

Every morning I was sincere. I believed the promise I had made to myself. I meant it.

Then the day would unfold. Emails. People who needed me. Dinner to think about. Hours would pass, and somewhere before evening arrived, the conversation in my mind would begin again.

I thought I was fighting a habit. God was revealing a pattern.

This story is about more than the evenings I was afraid to have. It is the story of a God who never left me through any of them. His grace sustained me before I surrendered, while He was transforming me, and as He revealed a purpose I never could have imagined. He was with me then, and He is with me still.

If you see yourself anywhere in these pages, I hope you will see something else, too. You are deeply loved by the same God who never gave up on me. He has not turned away from you. He has not stopped pursuing you. His grace is greater than your fear, and your story is not over.