About Carrie

My story

For 34 years, alcohol was part of my life. It was there when we celebrated, when the day was hard, when I was lonely, and when I was grieving. I did not drink every night. Even so, alcohol took up far more room in my life than I wanted to admit.

Every morning I was sincere. I made the promise to myself, and I meant it. Then the day would unfold. Emails. People who needed me. Dinner to think about. Somewhere before evening arrived, the conversation in my mind would begin again.

I spent years raising my children on my own. People would say, “I do not know how you do it,” and some days I wondered the same thing. By evening I was tired in a way that sleep did not fix. I wanted something that felt like it was just for me. Alcohol became that something.

Then came the nights I woke up at four in the morning, full of regret, ready to make the same promise again. I tried willpower. I tried moderation. I read books about the brain. Each one taught me something, and none of them lasted.

For a long time I thought I was afraid of giving up alcohol. Looking back, I was afraid of the evening without it. I could not picture how I would rest, celebrate, or get through a hard day.

I thought I was fighting a habit. God was revealing a pattern.

Once I could see the pattern, everything changed. I was not craving alcohol. I was craving relief. And Jesus had already spoken to that need: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NLT)

I stopped drinking on September 23, 2023. I did not become a woman who never feels stress or exhaustion. I learned that I could meet those moments in a different way, with prayer, with Scripture, and with a clearer understanding of how my evenings worked. The fear was real. The promise was false.